Inspiration.... Continues....

This past weekend I ran in the Blue Ridge Hospice 5k to support Camp Hope for siblings/children who have loved ones that passed away. I want to thank everyone that had a hand in it from financial support, emotional support, running with me, to well wishes and motivation.  I was able with your help to raise over $500 in Shaun's honor to donate to the Hospice fund. Shaun would be proud and thankful and so am I. With you behind me, I was able to run the race on a track I had not previously ran in 24 minutes and 53 seconds, to get 37th place overall and come in 11th for women.  This is the second best time I have ever put up for a 5k and I believe it was Shaun inspiring me each step and your motivation keeping me going. It was a beautiful morning for a race, starting out chilly, but by race time~ perfect weather.  The venue was picturesque, being at Blandy Farm and Arboretum~ Shaun would have loved looking at all the trees and watching the leaves dance to the ground. There were many people who showed up to support the SuperShaun team including my good friends, Becca Wallace (her brother in law, Victor), Angela Pelleman, Vickie Trapnell (her daughter in law, Melodie), Sandra Stitch, Kerry McKenna, Carmen Schlosser (her brother and sister too), and Tam and Leigh from Shaun's hospice team also ran sporting SuperShaun logos. Also I had a cheering section of some of the most important people, Peter, Stephen, Scottie, and Tim(step-dad). It was great to have them at the end cheering me on. The boys even ran with me, sprinting to the finish! It was great. Then we would walk back to the last 200 yards and as people we knew finished, we would run with them and finish too! It was fabulous.
 As pictures are posted, I will update. Thank you all again for supporting us and our healing process. I plan to run many more races this year in Shaun's honor but none mean as much to our family as this one. Thank you.

5 long months...

Its been 5 months, Shaun, since I held you in my arms, snuggled your nose, ran my fingers through your hair. Its been 5 months of keeping busy, trying to keep a brave face on, deceiving myself that I was going to be fine since I knew you were. I feel it now. Every day. Missing you. Its so hard to not have you, to not hold you, to not watch you with your brothers. I can't take pictures, I can't make sense of my life right now. Sometimes I don't even want to get up; but I do for your brothers. I immersed myself in you and now I am lost. I am trying to keep it together, to help your brothers, your daddy, our friends. Your brothers miss you too... Scottie the most. I feel so unequiped to help them. I just don't know what to do or to say when they ask "why?", especially "why Shaun?" I do my best and tell them you loved them so much and we don't always understand it. That you knew they loved you. That Jesus can heal their hurt and fill them up inside and one day we will all be a family again.  Jesus is calling to me now. Maybe because I am willing to listen. Telling me it is time to be honest, that I miss you, that its ok. To start to feel and to let the hurt out, be real with my life as I wanted others to be real with me. I wonder how I am going to face the holidays this year, since they were so sweet with you in them last. How do I put up a Christmas tree? The last time I did, you were rolling under it pulling at the lights or in your walker, trying to grab anything that was low enough for you to look at. Thanksgiving will be difficult too, as last year we went on a family trip that I am so thankful for. But nothing feels right this year. I am going to ask Jesus to help me. I need to do it for your brothers but it is going to be so hard... Shaun, it has been a battle abut I want you to know that I will not give up. That your momma is strong and that I have fight in me. I am so glad that I know our Savior, because without Him I don't know how anyone could survive. I thank Him and praise His Name for rescuing you from the broken body you were in. Thank you for being such a warrior and little missionary. You are my inspiration. I hope that I can let my light shine half as well as you did all your days. I will do my best, son. I want to point everyone I meet to Jesus just as you did. I will be running another race in two weeks and I know you will be right there with me. I long for the day we are together again my son. Know that your mommy loves you with all my heart. Save a place for me and you and Sarah dance with the Angels...

"I will bless the Lord at all times;
    his praise shall continually be in my mouth. "~Psalms 34:1
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”~ Psalms 34:18

Another run in Shaun's Honor...

I am running this race with a team of people in Shaun's honor this year. I want to flood the course with SuperShaun shirts!  Its a 5K at Blandy Farm and State Arboretum.  Blue Ridge Hospice and its staff helped Shaunie more than they know, and continue to help our family through the grieving process. Stephen was able to go to the Camp free of charge this race provides. Please consider donating to this organization or sponsoring me as a runner. I took the Challenge and would love to say, "Here is this check, above and beyond, in SuperShaun's honor." A way he can continue giving back and on to other children, like his brothers. You can sponsor me online or send a check my mail. Thanks for considering and helping support a fantastic cause.

http://www.brhospice.org/5K/

I ran a race on September 28 with the boys and we wore our Shaunie Shirts... This was the first race the boys were able to participate in and they loved it! Stephen came in 4th and Scottie was right in the middle of the pack. I was so proud of them. It is nice to share something especially that is healthy and physical with them both. I hope to run many more with them too! They told everyone that they were running on the SuperShaun team and for their little brother who is in heaven. They are so proud of him. And I am of them! Look for more Team SuperShaun runs and come out and join us! We would love to share this time with you.